Spencer Kellogg Brown: his life in Kansas and his death as a spy, 1842-1863, by Spencer Kellogg Brown

October 6, 1861

Dear Kitty: You do not know with what pleasure I have heard from you at last—for I have written to you more than once. I get up from reading yours and Father’s letters to answer immediately.

How selfish I have been, darling! I deserve more humbling yet. I never knew how poor Father suffered; and, Kitty, much as I love you, I must help him first. You will wait—will you not, Kitty?—and let me do what I can for him first. You are young and brave yet, and I can help but one at a time. I know how much I am asking, Kitty, but do not think it is a loss to you only. But I leave it to you. My plan is this: Rock must take care of the folks in Kansas.”

So, at least he can live comfortably; and I can willingly make the sacrifice for either him or you. … It will be much of a sacrifice, for I shall have to go without money in my pocket, and live like a common soldier instead of an officer; nor do I wish him to know, Kitty—only you—so that you can see how it is.

Next month, and after, with good fortune, I can do for you. … If you approve of all this, Kitty, and like it, send the inclosed letter to Father, and endeavour to get him to consent. Dear, dear Kitty, I know how much this will disappoint your bright hopes; but can I do differently?

I have no money now, Kitty, and am living on credit, so I cannot send now, but am hoping before Father’s answer comes to have it to send. I had another plan, before you told me of Father, that would have given me much pleasure; but I am fortunate in having a pleasing duty. Let me hear from you immediately on receipt of this. . . . Remember me, with love, to the friends. Imagine my arms around your own neck.

Spense.

Do not tell Father of anything but the favourable parts of my plan—nothing about me.

To his sister Kitty, Spencer wrote from St. Louis, on September 21st, rejoicing in anticipation of increased pay, and ability to help the loved ones of his father’s family.

The war is fairly beginning…  Lucky for me was the apparently untoward circumstance of my enlistment in the ‘regulars,’ for it fits me to fill the position I occupy, and, perhaps, for future advancement. Ah! your little, unpractical, theoretical brother has had many of the sharp, uncompromising corners rubbed from him, and is getting, more than ever he thought, a man of the world. I am sorry! almost ashamed! When I look back it seems that if I had married happily, with the old notions and greenness, and retired to some out-of-the-way town, life had been full of much keener enjoyment than can ever come to me as worldly as I have got to be. Yet I have friends—that is, acquaintances—now, that I had not then, and money, too—better, you see, in every worldly view; yet I am sorry for the exchange.

And how fares my sister? Is life gliding away quietly and happily, or are the rubs frequent? Please tell me, Kitty, when you write, and let me know. I should be happy if I could only do something for you. Let me make you an offer! After I get my first month’s salary, how would you like to live with me? that is, make your home in St. Louis, and keep house, so that your brother, when he was in town, could have some one to be proud of. Do you like the notion? Is the salary enough? I should need seventy-five dollars a month, or nearly so much. Would the rest be sufficient for you? That last looks selfish, but I fear I could not get along with less. Let me know. Let me hear from you soon. . . .

St. Louis, Missouri
August 20, 1861

Dear Mother: You have undoubtedly heard of our battle at Springfield, . . . and as you knew  I was there I supposed you would be anxious to hear from me. Immediately after the fight we returned to Rolla, from which place I was sent on here, by General Sweeney, to make out some papers. … I was not in the fight, as I belonged to the commissary department and could not obtain permission from Major Mudd, my commanding officer.

The fight was very severe, and we must have lost nearly a thousand men.

Since my last I have been seeing much better times, have been made an acting sergeant in the commissary department, getting about eight dollars a month more than before. But better times are coming still, if all works well. I have been promised a captaincy in a new regiment, and I expect to get my company in a few days.

Inclosed you will find my picture, taken since the battle. I have had no opportunity of ‘fixing up’ yet. Government owes me over forty dollars. I hope to get it in a few days; also some new clothes.

Give one of the pictures to Aunt Mary. Take your choice.

Tell Rock I would like to hear from him.

Spencer began to think he could do better for his country and for himself as a commissioned officer. Accordingly he wrote about the matter, on July 31,1861, to his father.

“The time has come at last to apply for my discharge. . . . Once having my discharge from the regular army I could obtain, without much difficulty, a commission in one of the companies rising like mushrooms everywhere around, and my drill and experience in the regular army would fit me for it.”

Before Mr. Brown could act upon this letter news was received of the battle of Springfield, in which General Lyon was killed.

To-day we hear there are eight hundred Secessionists at Squiresville, coming on to burn Paola and Osawatomie. Mr. Adair told Charley and Rock it would do no harm to have some bullets ready. . . . We have to expect danger, for we are threatened. . . . Poor Spencer! I tremble for him. … He is in General Lyon’s army, at Springfield, Missouri, where they are waiting for accessions, to have, I suppose, the greatest battle they have had yet. If his life is only spared, let us be thankful for that; but I think he was never before so exposed.

Springfield, Green County, Missouri,
July 3, 1861.

Dear Rock: Please send me news in Osawatomie, particularly where Montgomery is, and how many men he has. Be very careful to send as correct news as possible, something that can be relied upon, as it will be of great importance to me if correct.

Please address me as dear brother, and do not speak of Father in your letter. Do not express any wonder at what I ask.

To set your mind at rest about my safety, I am doing well, but can do still better if you can send me this information that I ask. If you know where Lane is, and how many men he has, it will be useful. Address ‘Spencer Kellogg,’ Springfield, Green County, Missouri, and write, sure, by return mail.

Love to Mother.

Spencer.

St. Louis, Missouri, May 27, 1861.

Dear Father: I heard from you Saturday, and, hearing there was to be a payment to-day, put off writing so as to have the means to repay you the debt you paid Newman.

I am well, and prospects are continually brightening for me. I think enlisting will prove one of the most fortunate things that I could have done. I expect to call for a furlough in a week or two, which my captain (T. W. Sweeney) has signified his willingness to give me. Let me here acknowledge the receipt of three papers from Chicago, for which I am obliged.

I have just returned from the United States Express office, where I sent you six dollars, which you can get by calling for it. Charges paid.

You will hear all about the Camp Jackson expedition in the papers, but if you wish my account you must apply to Kitty. I have a good situation now, company clerk, and mean to hold it, if possible. There is not much to do, and very easy times. If I do not get a furlough I shall send the balance of my pay to Rock, to buy a heifer with—at least, I think so now. If I get the furlough I am going South, and will probably return married to age and money. I contemplated, at first, very seriously, getting a discharge, but, on account of the fine prospect offered me to stay, I concluded I should only want a furlough. For the present, therefore, I shall not trouble about my discharge, and I have no doubt will eventually spend much of my life in the service. Of course my prospects are something better than those of a common soldier, although we are now leading a most particularly lazy life.

My friends here are very kind, and seem to find it difficult to do enough for me. I can only repay them with gratitude.

If you wish me to get your answer, it must come by return mail, or thereabouts. Please acknowledge receipt of package.

P. S.—Adding the Brown to my name now would result in considerable inconvenience and some shame: so it’s no use.

My Dear Son: I was in St. Louis, on the 15th ult., with Fanny, en route, missing your Mother on the river. Your Aunt Mary received a letter informing us, we supposed, of your arrival at Litchfield. I am very sorry, as I could have seen you, and learned your views and desires much better than by letter. . . . Five acres in spring wheat I left looking well. Rockwell has planted garden, potatoes, carrots, and corn,  Mr. A—— doing the ploughing for him. They have  a cow and calf, two pigs, and fowls. There were no late frosts, and fruits look well. Have had plenty of rain. Cistern is full. … I have delayed writing to you, as I did not know how to address you, supposing you had taken on your full name again. Why longer leave off the Brown? . . . Write me news of your captain, etc., etc. . . . Lane went to Kansas to raise several regiments of cavalry, under the auspices of Government, by State authority. Eleven regiments are raised, or to be raised. We read with great interest Captain Lyon’s capture of Frost’s band of rebels, and feel not a little gratified that my son should be allowed to participate in so bold and important a move for disarming and disbanding State treason.

Write me the particulars, and how things look to you from that standpoint. The Government is making very formidable preparations to put down the rebellion. . . . Missouri will be held to her allegiance, and her loyal citizens will be protected. . . . Large numbers of volunteers, more than could be received, have been offered. The regulars will fare much better than the volunteers, and, if you remain in the service, it is far better to be in the regular army in that particular. Of your standing truly and faithfully by your country’s flag in this its hour of greatest peril I cannot doubt for a moment; and that God will protect your life and health is my daily prayer.”