Charles Francis Adams, Jr., to his father
H.Q. Cav’y Escort, A. of P.
May 1, 1864
It [your letter] finds me contrary to my expectation still at Brandy Station, although expecting to move almost daily. In fact we do not pretend to see more than twenty-four hours ahead, though my mind is not quite clear whether our advanced state of preparation for a move is owing to Grant’s being nearly ready to assume the offensive, or to precaution on his part against an offensive move of Lee’s. I should think that he could hardly as yet be ready, and that every day we delay would probably be of the greatest advantage to him. Meanwhile I have been and still am as busy as I can stick — clothing, equipping, drilling and policing my men, laboring all I know how to transform the dirty, ragamuffin squad I found here when I came, into a handsome soldierly squadron. Hitherto I must say my success has fully satisfied me. I never saw men in the same space of time equally improved. They enjoy their present duty, take great pains and learn surprisingly rapidly. I only need horses now and if I succeed in drawing these, have no fear that General Meade will have any cause to be ashamed of his escort.
I like my present position very much, as a temporary one. Here I can see some results of my labor. I lead a life of tolerable comfort, see some pleasant men, am independent and, finally, am relieved from the eternal and infernal squabbles of the regiment. . . .
My days here, as I told you, are busy enough. I have two drills a day, one on foot and the other mounted, and am besides my own Quarter-Master, Commissary and Adjutant; for I find my name potent at Head Quarters and so do everything myself, that I may have the advantage of it. My camp was a mud-hole. I have had it policed until it is as clean a camp as I ever saw. I have done a good deal and done it all myself, so that, as yet, I have hardly been away from Head Quarters and have seen nothing of the Army. Of course you suppose, as every one does, that an officer living at Head Quarters knows all about the movements of the Army and what is going on. Disabuse yourself at once. Here we know just as much as we did in the line and that was absolutely nothing. They tell me at Head Quarters that there they always know things last, and certainly since I have been here I have heard of nothing but the vaguest surmises. The feeling about Grant is peculiar — a little jealousy, a little dislike, a little envy, a little want of confidence — all in many minds and now latent; but it is ready to crystallize at any moment and only brilliant success will dissipate the elements. All, however, are willing to give him a full chance and his own time for it. If he succeeds, the war is over. For I do assure you that in the hands of a General who gave them success, there is no force on earth which could resist this Army. If Lee is beaten, the rebels are “gone up.” . . .
