Diary of a Southern Refugee During the War by Judith White McGuire

13th.—Donelson is holding out bravely. I shudder to think of the loss of life.

Notwithstanding the rain this morning, I renewed my pursuit after lodgings. With over-shoes, cloak and umbrella, I defied the storm, and went over to Grace Street, to an old friend who sometimes takes boarders. Her house was full, but with much interest she entered into my feelings, and advised me to go to Mr. L., who, his large school having declined, was filling his rooms with boarders. His wife was the daughter of a friend, and might find a nook for us. I thought of the “Hare and many friends,” and bent my steps through the storm to the desired haven. To my surprise, Mrs. L. said we could get a room; it is small, but comfortable, the terms suit our limited means, and we will go as soon as they let us know that they are ready for us.

We have just been drawn to the window by sad strains of martial music. The bodies of Captains Wise and Coles were brought by the cars, under special escort. The military met them, and in the dark, cold night, it was melancholy to see the procession by lamplight, as it passed slowly down the street. Captain Wise has been carried to the Capitol, and Captain Coles to the Central Depot, thence to be carried to-morrow to the family burying-ground at Enniscorthy, in Albemarle County. Thus are the bright, glorious young men of the Confederacy passing away. Can their places be supplied in the army? In the hearts and homes of families there must ever be a bleeding blank.

12th.—The loss of Roanoke Island is a terrible blow. The loss of life not very great. The “Richmond Blues” were captured, and their Captain, the gifted and brave O. Jennings Wise, is among the fallen. My whole heart overflows towards his family; for, though impetuous in public, he was gentle and affectionate at home, and they always seemed to look upon him with peculiar tenderness. He is a severe loss to the country. Captain Coles, of Albemarle, has also fallen. He was said to be an interesting young man, and a gallant soldier. The Lord have mercy upon our stricken country!

Monday Night.—Still greater uneasiness about Roanoke Island. It is so important to us—is said to be the key to Norfolk; indeed, to all Eastern North Carolina, and Southeastern Virginia. We dread to-morrow’s papers.

The lady on Street has disappointed me. She met me with a radiant smile when I went to see her this evening, saying, “She agrees; she must, however, remove the wardrobe and bureau, as she wants them herself; but there’s a closet in the room, which will answer for a wardrobe, and I reckon that a table with a glass on it will do for a bureau.” “Oh, yes; only give me a good bed, some chairs and a washstand, and I can get along very well. Can I see the room?” “Yes; it is a back-room in the third story, but I reckon you won’t mind that.” My heart did sink a little at that communication, when I remembered Mr. _____’s long walks from Bank Street; but there was no alternative, and I followed her up the steps. Great was my relief to find a large airy room, neatly carpeted, and pleasant in all respects. “This will do,” said I; “take the wardrobe and bureau out, and put a table in, and I shall be very well satisfied.” “I have a small table,” she replied, “but no glass; you will have to buy that.” “Very well, I will do that. But you have not yet told me your terms.” “Will you keep a fire?” “Oh, certainly, in my room.” “Then my charge is ___.” I stood aghast!” My dear madam,” said I, “that is twenty dollars more than the usual price, and three dollars less than our whole salary per month.” “Well, I can’t take a cent less; other people take less because they want to fill their rooms, but I was only going to take you for accommodation; and I can fill my rooms at any time.” Now the lines of her face were not undecided. I turned, and as I walked up the already lighted streets of my native city, feeling forlorn and houseless,

“In happy homes I saw the light

Of household fires gleam warm and bright;”

and hope that I was not envious. My friends were very sympathetic when I returned, not, however, without a certain twinkle of the eye denoting merriment, as it exactly coincided with a most provoking prophecy made by Mr. C. as I set out; and I joined in a hearty laugh at my own expense, which was a real relief to my feelings.

No good news from Roanoke Island. Fort Henry has fallen; that loss is treated lightly, but the enemy have turned their attention to Fort Donelson, on Cumberland River, which, if taken, would give them free access into the heart of Tennessee.

8th.—I have called on the two ladies mentioned above. The lady with the small income has filled her rooms, and wishes she had more to fill. She of the large house and small family had “never dreamed of taking boarders,” was “surprised that such a thing had been suggested,” looked cold and lofty, and meant me to feel that she was far too rich for that. I bowed myself out, feeling not a little scornful of such airs, particularly as I remembered the time when she was not quite so grand. I went on my way speculating on the turning of the wheel of fortune, until I reached the house of an old acquaintance, and rang her bell, hoping that she might take in wanderers. This I did not venture to suggest, but told her my story in pitiful tones. She was all sympathy, and would be glad to take us in, but for the reserve of a bachelor brother to whom the house belonged. She appreciated the situation, and advised me to call on Mrs. _____on ____ Street. Nothing daunted by past experience, I bent my steps to ____ Street, and soon explained my object to Mrs. _____. She had had vacant rooms until two days ago, but a relative had taken both. Though she spoke positively, she looked doubtful, and I thought I saw indecision in the expression of her mouth. I ventured to expostulate: “Perhaps the lady might be induced to give up one room.” She hesitated, and gave me an inquiring look. I told her my history. “An Episcopal minister,” she exclaimed; “I’m an Episcopalian, and would be delighted to have a minister in the house. Do you think he would have prayers for us sometimes?” “Oh, certainly, it would gratify him very much.” “Well, the lady is not at home to-day, but when she comes I will try to persuade her to do it. Call on Monday.” I thanked her, and was walking out, when she called me back, saying, “You will not expect a constant fire in the parlour, will you?” “Oh, no; I can take my visitors to my own room.” “Well, I may be out on Monday morning; come in the evening.” I returned very much pleased, and received the congratulations of my friends, who are taking much interest in our welfare.

We are suffering great uneasiness about the country. The enemy is attacking Roanoke Island furiously. General Wise is there, and will do all that can be done; but fears are entertained that it has not been properly fortified.

February 6.—Spent this day in walking from one boarding-house to another, and have returned fatigued and hopeless. I do not believe there is a vacant spot in the city. A friend, who considers herself nicely fixed, is in an uncarpeted room, and so poorly furnished, that, besides her trunk, she has only her wash-stand drawer in which to deposit her goods and chattels; and yet she amuses herself at it, and seems never to regret her handsomely furnished chamber in Alexandria.

Richmond, February 5.—For two weeks my diary has been a closed book. After another week at W., we went to the Presbyterian Parsonage, to join the refugee family who had gathered within its walls. They had made themselves comfortable, and it had quite a home-like appearance.

After remaining there a day or two, Mr. _____ received a letter, announcing his appointment to a clerkship in the Post-Office Department. The pleasure and gratitude with which it is received is only commensurate with the necessity which made him apply for it. It seems a strange state of things which induces a man, who has ministered and served the altar for thirty-six years, to accept joyfully a situation purely secular, for the sole purpose of making his living; but no chaplaincy could be obtained except on the field, which would neither suit his health, his age, nor his circumstances. His salary will pay his board and mine in Richmond, and the girls will stay in the country until they or I can obtain writing from Government—note-signing from Mr. Memminger, or something else. We are spending a few days with our niece, Mrs. H. A. C, until we can find board. Mr. _____has entered upon the duties of his office, which he finds confining, but not very arduous. To-morrow I shall go in pursuit of quarters.

The city is overrun with members of Congress, Government officers, office-seekers, and strangers generally. Main Street is as crowded as Broadway, New York; it is said that every boarding-house is full.