January 20th [1863]. Wrote letters to-day to Claude and Mrs. Chilton by persons going out. My heart felt so like breaking to feel so far off from all, that I was forced to relieve it by crying before I could go on.
Mr. Hill has just stopped in. He says that the Yankees will not hold this city much longer. Although I have heard this so often, it gives me a gleam of comfort every time I hear it. Oh, to break our prison bonds here, to be able to go once more where and when we pleased, to send comfort to those who are sick away from us and to be able to write a letter without thinking that some ruffian with epaulettes may read it, and perhaps send an orderly for us for not making it respectful enough to our jailers. Just had an offer for Greenville place; don’t know yet how it will turn out. Mr. Randolph called with fresh negotiations for the Greenville place. He advises us not to sell, as all property has been depreciated by the war and that in a few years a house like ours with three acres attached, lying on the Carrollton railroad, will be very valuable. He told us much war news. Banks has gone to Baton Rouge, it is said, to quell a mutiny among the soldiers. They say openly here that they do not want to fight us and they will seize the first opportunity to be paroled by being made prisoners. Others again hate us, and preach openly to the negroes to arise and kill us. Why they have done nothing except rob and steal, is a wonder. If they were not negroes we would have had another bloody revolution among us, but the African must shed several skins and pass through various stages before his red tide can mount at the words, “Give me liberty or give me death.” Almost daily encounters pass between white men and black, and the white man is always punished. Colonel French, however, has issued an order that no negro shall go out at night without a pass from his master; many arrests have been made; even the Yankee police hate them, and have been treated so badly by them that they are glad to rid the streets of them. A white policeman was beaten to death by negro soldiers in United States uniform—no punishment for the soldiers.
