Headquarters Engineer Brigade,
Camp near Falmouth, April 11, 1863.
Dear Father, — I have been quite busy for the last few days, getting in my monthly, and tri-monthly reports, besides a great deal of other office business. To-morrow, I am glad to say, I shall be relieved from duty as adjutant-general by Channing Clapp. Although I have got along very well with General Benham, I don’t think I should like to be his adjutant-general permanently. He is not at all well posted in regard to office business, and keeps doing things which are irregular, and the blame of which, if any mischief should ensue, would fall upon the unfortunate adjutant-general. I have never got into any scrape with him, except once, and I did it then from following out his orders. I gave a certificate of “muster out” to an officer, in order that he might be mustered in, with his new and increased rank. The general had given me an express order to do so in all such cases, but as it happened, he did not wish this officer to get his new rank as it had been obtained in a rather underhand manner. The officer, too, lied to me in regard to his commission, and so obtained the certificate. The general made me write him (the officer aforesaid) a note, saying that I had given him the certificate without authority, which was not so. I did as he directed, however, as I did not wish to have a quarrel with the general. Of course the proper way for the general to have done would have been to demand the certificate back on the ground that it was fraudulently obtained. As it was, it exposed me to insult, etc., by having my authority to sign a paper called into question, and indeed, I don’t see why any officer might not now refuse to obey any order signed by me, on the ground that I had signed it without authority. Even if I had signed it without authority, it was very impolitic for the general to have a written statement made to that effect, when he could get out of the scrape in any other way. This, and one or two other things of a like nature done to others on the staff, makes me feel rather anxious in regard to the future. If anything the general orders to be done is not successful, I very much fear that the blame may be thrown on his staff officer, whoever he may be, by the general disavowing the act or order. He has constantly thrown the blame of all his former troubles on other people. However, it will only make me more careful and anxious to do my duty faithfully. I don’t wish you to think that I am on unpleasant terms with General Benham or that I have had any serious trouble. We are on the best of terms, and he did not blame me much about the certificate, but, as you know, straws show which way the wind blows, and I, of course, wish to go through this war with honor, and don’t want to render myself liable to any blame. Now, this present position in the Engineer Brigade is a very ticklish one. Any amount of blame and censure has been heaped on the former commander, and should it come on the present one, I prefer that it should not he shoved off on my shoulders. And from seeing General B. not disposed to stand up for his staff, which I have never before known a general not to do, I feel somewhat anxious. Of course, an aide’s reputation, honor and everything is in the hands of his general, and if an aide cannot feel that his general will support the orders he gives him to carry or to perform, why there is an end of him. Now, I think I can easily get on some other staff, and after giving you, in perfect confidence and with a knowledge that you will see it in its true light and keep it perfectly secret, a full statement of the case, I wish to know your opinion about it. I know the general is satisfied with me and has perfect confidence in me, and as a companion he is jolly and agreeable. But then he is very incautious in what he says about others, and censures the acts and abilities and doings of other generals in a way which must get him into trouble, and which has, undoubtedly, in my, opinion, made him enemies in his former campaigns, and led him into many of his scrapes. He is very ambitious, and very conceited. Of course everything here is for your ear alone, and must go no further.
We shall probably move in two or three days. The roads are all dry, and all the preparations are being made for a speedy move, probably down the river. By the time you get this we shall be on our way, unless storms prevent. Parties are at work on the roads fixing the bad holes, etc.
To-day we had an inspection of all our pontoons, and shall have them all in condition by to-morrow night. We have over a hundred of them.
At some convenient time, I will write you a full account of everything here. Don’t be at all anxious about me, as I have always and shall always do my duty. I have spoken to you in perfect confidence as a son would do to his father, in regard to my position and to my feelings. I will again say that I am on the best terms with General Benham, and know everything that is going on from him, which would not be the case if he did not have confidence in me.
I have been mounting Brigade Guard for the last week, and find it quite pleasant. I have at least learned much by my present position, and gained a great deal of useful experience.
